Addicted to Being High Functioning
01:58 Mar 24 2017
Times Read: 213
Every so often I come out of a slump and am concerned I am spreading myself too thin. There are those moments of being at a near-total standstill and the gates open and I am off. 0 to 100 seemingly in the blink of an eye. Unlike the race horse, though, I am usually scattering in all sorts of directions simultaneously. I suppose a shotgun might be a more apt analogy here. Either way, I’m currently taking every advantage I can of being far more useful than I normally am.
Perhaps I just run on an all-or-nothing circuitry.
The last few weeks, my only real goal was to get a couple things sorted out. Spent some time soul searching, that sort of thing. Got some of my thoughts sorted out properly in my head. Then out of nowhere, there is a need to organize, plan, set new goals. So I’ve started chipping away at that the last couple days. Planning and organizing tends to be my thing at the best of times, but this last little patch has been just…excessive, even for myself.
It isn’t even that I am proposing outlandish goals. It is that they are all precise and technical and almost perfect in their execution if they were followed to the T. I have thrown together a temporary exercise routine, temporary in that I’ve managed to find some used exercise equipment to add in over time within my budget parameters. It actually falls into the parameters of the newly written budget, complete with a 2 year plan for financial plans in the future. There are still a few small things to hammer out, but it’s functional as is.
I’m writing more. I’m spending less time contemplating things that may go wrong, and just pre-planning to override most anything that comes my way. Whether I am going to have the steam to actually power through it all remains to be seen, but once the planning is done, it will go easier.
In theory, I think I just wrote myself a step-by-step manual for how to manage through the next year at least. This seems to include a master plan for financials, general activities, and major goals like setting up to buy a newer car and benefit plans like contributions to the dusty old tax-free savings account. Short of planning every waking moment for the next week, I have it pretty much covered. Though I have already worked out my morning alarm times for the upcoming week to have me up on time to actually exercise and still make it to work. Somewhere in there, I’m also cramming in VR, tarot readings, and all other manners of things.
Normally, I’d be slightly concerned that one of these things might explode and take all the others down with it, but I think I’m riding out this new motivation as long as I can. However long that is…well, who knows, but wherever I wind up will still be a hell of a lot better than where I was prior.
Disclaimer
22:49 Mar 08 2017
Times Read: 232
A little disclaimer on this journal to start – I am entirely aware that this is all public space and that there are people who can and will read this. Everything that I intend to put in here is my own personal viewpoint, and as such, it comes from my own personal experience of living. My intent is not to agitate anyone, or make enemies. Therefore, if I say something that bothers you, do feel free to bring it to my attention. While this does not necessarily mean I will race to change it, I value any commentary or critique on what I post. I would rather know if my wording is unclear, or if I need to work on my phrasing. I think I am a pretty approachable person, and I think I tend to look at things from multiple standpoints rather than getting immediately defensive.
That being said, I also value free speech. Certain topics, while being unnerving or outright triggering to others, I will not avoid speaking about here. Why? It isn’t that I am actively trying to provoke. Sometimes, I write just to help talk myself through things. Sometimes, I write because something is picking at my brain and I can’t formulate it into a clear thought. Sometimes, I write because there is a hard topic that is weighing heavily on me. This is how I vent. This is how I vent safely. Therefore, we are sharing this space. I won’t be censored on my own turf. I will, however, listen to any feedback that I receive.
The golden rule here is then: I thank you for any feedback, but I will not be made to feel sorry for my thoughts.
On the topic of feedback: If anything you’ve read generated some thoughts, opinions, ideas, debate, etc. I would love to hear it. There is nothing I like more than a good conversation, and I will be the first to admit that I’ve gotten rusty. So message or comment; fire away.
I look forward to speaking with some of you.
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